AS I was thawing out the butter the other morning I overheard that British motorists are once again under the cosh of John Law: a £60 on-the-spot fine for anyone caught with snow on their car’s roof. The radix malorum? An attempt to stop any snow coming off said roof during transit and hitting cyclists.
Two questions come to mind: why are cyclists peddling about in the snow and why aren’t our sensible motorists being rewarded for causing them harm? This obviously opens the floodgates to a terrible litany of snow-related litigation and bureaucracy; postmen suing when, after taking receipt of a package, your closing the door displaces the snow above the portico, health and safety nuts coming around assessing the risk of our icicles and, of course, squirrels prosecuting you when they slip off the roof.
Furthermore, I have no doubt that the benefit-seeking classes will flock to their stolen bicycles in their thousands, desperately hounding some poor soul with snow on his car until, upon his accelerating away, he gives them the necessary pelt of snow so they can hit the speed-dial to a waiting meretricious no-win-no-fee shyster.
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